1. |
Dinner With Luis
01:04
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Same dirty dishes
Same time to dim the lights
These blinds never open
These clothes stay piled
Make one serving in silence
No one’s home
I turn on my TV
It makes me sad to eat alone
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2. |
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Shobu from Yugioh Duel Masters:
“
Maybe Hakuo’s got a point
I mean I know how to duel better than any of my friends
Why did I even bother to take their advice?
They might have cost me the biggest duel of my life
“
Rekuta: “No, Shobu!”
It’s not enough
It’s not enough
Grinding for comfort
Zoned out mind justifies itself
Frozen in vane, heart trophies
Racing for safety
Always fluttering up stream
Winner takes denial and goes free
Rekuta: “We’ve got to help him! But how!?”
Shobu: “I’m beyond my friends’ help now.”
Colorblind
Refracting love from admiration
Shift care to narcissistic masturbation
I’ve got a grip on this, let’s
Hand it to my gut, it groans, I miss it
Sing mantras limply like
I’m all ears, but I’m not listening
Shobu: “I summon, the power of my friends!”
If you unfollow me
I’ll probably give in to unhealthy coping
Start moping daily
Till sympathy forces you to hold me
I’d trade my body
Sell all my time
It’s kind of sad what I’d give up
Just to feel useful
Just to feel fine
I’m so damn tired, I’ll give up
Shobu: “Friends are your path to greatness and without any friends, even if you wind up with all the success in the world, who’s going to congratulate you and who are you going to share it with?”
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3. |
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Nightly talk myself into
Tucking in without you
Tightly wrapped in lucid nightmares
I control, just don’t want to
I’m immersed in attentive illusion
Parasocial software salvation
Dreams create strangers
Built tall to guard me sleep
Cover me
hide where she should sleep
Zach Hill: “The main thoughts on my mind right now are like, pretty much, uh, asking myself; how much of this is for the value of art?”
Preach dreams of rest
Manifest from hard work and focus
Not clean childhood sheets
Suburb streets and straight teeth to
Gorge with
Set an alarm
Choose slumber
Wonder why sleeping in makes me suffer
Am I too old to start making friends?
Scared my touch will offend them
Glad I missed the party
Have no dreams that they’d find interesting
Am I too old to start making friends?
Scared my touch will offend them
Zach Hill: “Y’know the idea that you’re trying to innovate things, and innovate, y’know, to, for progression in a kids mind just like how my favorite bands did to me and it’s kind of a snowball. It’s, sometimes it’s hard to find sense it all of it. Maybe there’s not supposed to be any. Why am I here? I don’t know. That’s what it’s making me think about.”
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4. |
I am worse than a drug
02:29
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I stopped drinking at 29
Self-help screaming that I’d be fine
Is this really the greener side?
Or slowly dying sober.
I told a shrink this week
Inadequacy forced me to believe
When you drink you don’t love me
I am worse than a drug
Sitting with feelings
More sleep, less food
It won’t fix me
If you drink you will leave
I’m unworthy
I’ll plead desperately
Can we do this together?
Is this manipulating?
Will this make you hate me?
If this side’s really greener,
Why’s it so barren here?
Feels like I can barely find a friend
It can’t be only you, although that’s what I’d choose
Nothing left to do but try again
I will reach out next Friday
I will make friends, stop hiding
I will cringe at your accomplishments
I will take on these problems
I’ll grit my teeth and solve them
I will say or do anything
If you’ll stay with me
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5. |
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Ideology comes over me
Dark clouds of conformity
Big lawns and lake house
Post-secondary toiletries
Abandon your dreams like every Netflix huffing normie, thank god
I’ve been saved by stoic philosophy
Astrology for dead white pedophiles with dogma
Designed to further galvanize the loneliest among us
It lacks intersectionality so don’t cross me
I’m above it
Swing sets and lending your headphone to a friend
You’re in my shower
Here comes the underduck
Night’s always ending with streetlights fading in
Can you remember when
We could play pretend?
It seems profoundly human
Demanding dopamine
While doomscrolling each soulless
Grown-up job on offer
I don’t need to see HD explosions
I don’t want to drink all day
Don’t want to spend my life alone
Merely remembering how we played
Pokemon cards on hot asphalt
Make believe deep in the woods
Lust after every girl who’s pass us
Feel so damn misunderstood
Can I come over to your house?
Play your N64?
Mine is stuck in my bedroom
And i’ve been forced outdoors
I think we’re meant to be best friends
Never felt that before
Woo
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6. |
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Elliot Page in Juno: “You just take soupy sails to prom, I can think of so many better things to do that night. Like y’know what, like, I might pumice my feet, I might go to Branstone humanitarian church, maybe get hit by a truck full of hot garbage juice? Y’know cause all those things would be exponentially cooler than going to prom with you.”
You’ve be stargazing on my phone
I am the one you’re sunbathing for
While I graze, bored alone at home
Compulsive misogyny
Devoted to who’s
Totally indifferent or
Repulsed by me
Adultrous Anxiety
Deceiving self-esteem
Convincing me to question
Normative monogamy
My thirst is fantasized
Water water everywhere
One drop will paralyze
So just stare, I’m staring
I only want your attention
I will give you mine
I realize it doesn’t matter if we
never meet in real life
(Stay in side the orbit around me)
I only want your attention
I will give you mine
I realize it doesn’t matter if we
never meet in real life
Woo
Michael Cera in Juno: “I should be really cheesed off. I shouldn’t wanna talk to you.
Elliot Page: “Why? Because I had sex with and didn’t wanna like marry you?
Michael Cera: “Like I’d marry you. You’d be the meanest wife ever, okay?”
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7. |
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8. |
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9. |
BiRDMAN (instrumental)
02:45
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10. |
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11. |
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12. |
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13. |
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Nurture Nurture Saint John, New Brunswick
Making an album every year because I love midwest emo
Saint John, NB, Canada
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